Music Competition Journey

Hello everyone,

Today was a much better day. My bow is starting to adopt to me and vice versa. I am starting to relearn how to play and the bow hair is starting to break in. My arm was unfortunately hurting today due to not knowing the mechanics of my bow, and I forced it yesterday when I played through. Today because of the slight pain, it forced me to play soft, and in return, my instrument gave me a bigger sound! You see, even in music making, you have to “allow” for a good sound. You can't force.

Did my run through and this time, it was even better. I am starting to be one with the music. My boyfriend who is also a musician is being super critical, which is good. Because it will bring me to that highest level of playing in 4 days! Wow!

After today, I am feeling pretty good. I have come to a couple of realizations. Not only do I have to affirm, visualize etc to win, but also, I have to hear these pieces of music in my head first, and put feelings to it first. Sounds like the Secret, right? Well, this was actually something I knew before I even knew about the LOA. It struck me one day after I went to a big museum. And I was just amazed at how all these famous artists can create these amazing sculptures, and paintings and collages seemingly out of nowhere. How do they do that? I came to the realization that they knew exactly what they had in mind before they started. Or perhaps they just let their inner creativity guide them throughout the process. Well, it's the same thing for me. I have to have each piece of music exactly as I want it to go in my head before I even touch my instrument. Also, I need to know what kind emotion and feeling it should convey. And connecting those two together, and I just let my body follow the sound that I hear and the picture I see in my mind and the creative instinct in my body, then comes a beautiful sound out of my instrument. Today it was the proof that's how it should happen. Wow I was on the subway, I was thinking about how the Debussy should feel and sound like. And I got rid of my own limitations. Instead of thinking how well I can achieve it, I imagined the best case scenario. I imagined that I was the most famous musician in the world. If he were to play that piece, how would it sound? Ah ha!!! That's how I will sound then. That was really a revelation to me. I realized that I had put limitations on my own creativity, sound qualities, and power based on what I think I can achieve only. As soon as I started pretending I was that really famous person, instantly in my head, I sounded a hell lot better. And in return in the run through today, I played like that famous person!

Bottom line, don't limit what you think you can achieve. Sometimes we don't even know that we do that. If we encounter a certain situation, think about what a certain mentor or a person we admire would do. This was a great learning lesson.